Things do need to change. Guess I'll break the silence.

[IncredibleJD]

I've been on this site, for three days. At the least, maybe four. I've witnessed so many things within this community day time and night time, that it's kinda crazy. In this thread, I will avoid name-dropping. I am a bit bitter about what happened. But, I really as said. Want to see this community get back to the better. For it to bloom, for it to be popular. For it to be kinder, or at least a more enjoyable experience. I'm going to break down some issues I've had, and maybe we can all talk from there. First, let me give a run down of my experience so far.

So, I started this game and immediately found good people. I was asking what was new and different from the original experience. I found out about alllll the new outfits, and all the new awesome pins, and furniture. Awesome job staff. Really, the new furni, clothes, pins you added through the years of this game is great. Keeping up to date with current and even reminding us of classic Disney is fantastic. Someone actually gifted me the sets of The Incredibles outfits. Which was super sweet. I made some new friends in the Pirates game. Met people. Interesting sense of humor that included "foul language" to some and sarcasm but you can tell everyone was genuinely enjoying themselves or seeming that way.

A day passes and I'm just enjoying playing games and such. Walking around, remembering how things used to be. I see HOSTs come into a few rooms here and there. Pretty cool to have moderating staff, or at least... I thought. What got me was, these hosts were in the room when the "foul" language was going on. I figured, this was in sense of how the community just flowed. So...I thought. Again, these few days I notice a really interesting sense of humor that it becomes almost the norm. To throw around certain terms. I threw them around. If I knew if it was okay to post and I wasn't risking burying myself even deeper into the ground here or ruining all the chances of becoming host, I'd give those specific examples. Regardless, I make the jokes. I learn about some of the past with the community and what's been happening. All very interesting and I plead to not involve myself with any drama. Because to me, internet drama is ridiculous. I don't attempt to hurt anyone. I only want to have good times. Because it's Disney for one, and it's a game for the other. I love VMK. I wouldn't want it to be have a negative aura about it.

So, yesterday. 9/20. I'm online and I joined a game which was pretty cool. Roll a number, the person standing on that line gets to pick someone to drop down a block. Go on, so forth. I make jokes, people are making jokes. Until, one person kinda takes it to heart or takes it too far. I won't say if there's a history of this because I aim to hurt no feelings. Well, drama occurs. An innocent guy who said nothing to do the man who later has an issue with me gets insulted and claimed of starting things. Same person takes the joke I make too far, his clique goes in on me after making said joke. I say to said person "I don't think we need to be so dramatic" or something of that sort like "stop being so dramatic" and I also say I don't know anyone, I'm just here to have a good time. And well, they leave. I ask what happened. I get a few interesting answers, but whatever. Moving on that day I finally hosted my first gaming event which was trivia. Was a bit small, didn't really handle it like I wanted but everyone said they had a good time. I'm pretty proud. So, drama already starts. Someone comes into the room, insults someone for doing such and such and then just causes a weird rift that I promptly move over by stating there will be no drama in this room, and ask everyone to respect each other or at least have a good time. I have witnesses of that. I also asked to find the person who had an issue with me earlier so I can apologize. Again, I'm trying to help improve this community or at least assure everyone has a good time. I apologize, everything seems fine and good. All well, no harm done.

There's changes that need made. Severely. And I'm going to list them. Again.

1. The clique mentality and getting rewarded for starting things in rooms, playing the saint, and then getting away with said actions needs to stop. Either that means harsher moderation or more interesting reviews of chat-logs. But I can't be in a community where someone can easily get away with something by having friends defend or acting innocent when moderation comes to play. That happens enough in reality, I don't need that brought into a peaceful and fun loving game like Virtual Magic Kingdom.
2. Let me not play victim either. I know I've said inappropriate things amongst friends on this game. Never anything that would target or hurt someone. Jokes here and there that may have took it too far but I would never intentionally ruin someone's experience. I love this game, I love spreading good times. I'm not going to tolerate the clique mentality and bullying at first hand either.
3. Hosts need to be fair and handle the situations and foul language when they arise no matter what. What is a person supposed to see when they see a host in a room where language is being thrown around and no repercussion is being upheld. Humor me. Are they really supposed to believe that's NOT the norm for the community?
4. If we are all playing by a harsh following of the rules, there can't be so many "passive" statements that get thrown around. There can't be any time someone should slide by without any punishment or at least a warning about their language.
5. Instead of direct punishment, I offer an alternative. Telling the person who was offended, why they got offended, and trying to smooth out the situation. I'm going to be direct and harsh, not gonna bite my tounge with this one. Please don't hate me for that. But if we're gonna have a community where some want to play like children, then be the authoritative figure. Figure out why someone got their feelings hurt, ask what happened, make sure the event doesn't happen again. Tell the two to ignore each other until they can play nice, or set up proper punishment when you find out what exactly happened.

These three days I've tried my best to ignore bad situations, be nice to people, and calm down situations. For me to take repercussion when getting sucked into any type of drama on here does irritate me. Heavily.

I'm here to try and help improve the game. Whatever happens due to this thread or my statements happen. I just want to see everyone win, we get a healthy and living VMK community filled of good people and at least toned down drama if we need to have drama at all. I'm going to fully state I'm aware this game has a past of some drama. I just want past to be past, close the books, and move forward to a nice and better looking future for VMK. That's all I want to see.

 

[Midien]

This IMO is one of the best post about what is truly wrong with the game. We as players make this game what we want it to be, it's unfort that a few get their entertainment from tearing down others however it's done. You've been here 3 days and already you've experienced such negative behavior, is it a wonder that this community is shrinking. Many I'm sure would and have just left.

 

[xCharlottex]

when I saw your post about being so happy about the friendly community youd found within this game I was instantly upset, as I knew it would only take a few days for you to realise there are a lot of people in this game who are not so friendly. Unfortunately myvmk is full of drama and a lot of nasty people, I dont think it will ever change, as you cant really change a person and I highly doubt those people will ever change. You have to learn to ignore it or give up and stop playing like a lot of people have. I hope you stay because you seem like such a nice person. Dont listen to the nasty people!

 

[IncredibleJD]

This IMO is one of the best post about what is truly wrong with the game. We as players make this game what we want it to be, it's unfort that a few get their entertainment from tearing down others however it's done. You've been here 3 days and already you've experienced such negative behavior, is it a wonder that this community is shrinking. Many I'm sure would and have just left.

I tend to see the better in people and ignore the bad. Especially since, with the upmost honesty I expect the worst out of most internet communities. Bad apples usually overrun the good. I still take note on these forums and with this community that most people are genuinely good and they can shine through the majority of the bad which I appreciate it. It's like that in a good amount of Disney communities. And I love it.

when I saw your post about being so happy about the friendly community youd found within this game I was instantly upset, as I knew it would only take a few days for you to realise there are a lot of people in this game who are not so friendly. Unfortunately myvmk is full of drama and a lot of nasty people, I dont think it will ever change, as you cant really change a person and I highly doubt those people will ever change. You have to learn to ignore it or give up and stop playing like a lot of people have. I hope you stay because you seem like such a nice person. Dont listen to the nasty people!

It definitely can change.With people stepping up, trying to defuse situations, not letting the negativity get to them and being on their game when it comes to ending it.

As corny as it sounds, if we all stand up against it. We start spreading the word about MyVMK to positive people and fellow Disney fans. A bit more strict moderation and we get people to maturely handle these situations, we can make MyVMK a truly "magical" community. It'll take work, but I truly think this game is worth it. Try bringing old faces back, trying to end any type of misbehavior. Remembering that respect and courtesy will always rule all else out. Taking time to understand everyone is different and trying to talk things out.

We can win this. We can make MyVMK the place to be if you're a Disney fan of any personality.

 

[xCharlottex]

Yeah I totally believe it can change. Im just saying I dont think the bad people themselves will change. I think there should be a warning system. If youre found bullying, harrassing or being overly negative towards other people you should get a warning. 1 or 2 of these warnings and then you should be given a ban.

 

[Midien]

Unfortunately it is so true that one negative can have so much more impact then a hundred postives. Like you, I tend to ignore them or change rooms when some are being ridiculous in a room. I also prefer to try to focus on the positive and kindness of the many wonderful people that do still play the game.

 

[AristoKena]

You've summed up in a single post why I decided to take a step back. It really does need to change and I'm hoping when I get back to regularly playing again it won't be as bad.

 

[Midien]

This should be required reading for everyone <3

 

[IncredibleJD]

Yeah I totally believe it can change. Im just saying I dont think the bad people themselves will change. I think there should be a warning system. If youre found bullying, harrassing or being overly negative towards other people you should get a warning. 1 or 2 of these warnings and then you should be given a ban.

I agree with that. I also agree that we need to have people talk these issues out. Get these people to make them talk it out like adults. Better yet, like people who care. People need to care, it's just how it is. At least on a community like this. If that means playing guidance councilor, well. That means playing guidance councilor.

Unfortunately it is so true that one negative can have so much more impact then a hundred postives. Like you, I tend to ignore them or change rooms when some are being ridiculous in a room. I also prefer to try to focus on the positive and kindness of the many wonderful people that do still play the game.

I'm glad. That's the right thing to do. Like I said, I think everyone has a bit of good. I'm sure the right push or...y'know. Right scolding can bring it out of them.

You've summed up in a single post why I decided to take a step back. It really does need to change and I'm hoping when I get back to regularly playing again it won't be as bad.

Hopefully, I can help in a lead that makes this community better and we can bring as many bright faces such as yourself back to the game.

This should be required reading for everyone <3

I appreciate it.

 

[PaigeUhSaur]

Although I agree with your post about a lot of people being negative, rude, bullies... Not enough of discipline can happen to make it disappear. If you get rid of one another will just show up. Every community has it's own form of bullying and there is nothing that can be done to change it. I'm not trying to support all the bullies, but in life there are going to be people to bring you down wether it be cyberally or in person.

Just ignore it. I know this sounds hard, but... that's just what you got to do.

 

[IncredibleJD]

Although I agree with your post about a lot of people being negative, rude, bullies... Not enough of discipline can happen to make it disappear. If you get rid of one another will just show up. Every community has it's own form of bullying and there is nothing that can be done to change it. I'm not trying to support all the bullies, but in life there are going to be people to bring you down wether it be cyberally or in person.

Just ignore it. I know this sounds hard, but... that's just what you got to do.

I guess I disagree. There's plenty that can help it disappear and that's literally talking it out which I try to do.

If a person doesn't agree to talk it out, fine. Hit the ignore. If it proceeds to dramatic situations or grouping up or starting to spread things on a need to be positive community. Then punishments get rolled out. I don't think it's hard.

When you get rid of one and another one comes, that person gets the same routine. This community doesn't need to be like the other ones.

 

[RockStar_PoohBear]

I love this idea! Maybe they could do like soccer and do the yellow and red cards

 

[PaigeUhSaur]

I guess I disagree. There's plenty that can help it disappear and that's literally talking it out which I try to do.

If a person doesn't agree to talk it out, fine. Hit the ignore. If it proceeds to dramatic situations or grouping up or starting to spread things on a need to be positive community. Then punishments get rolled out. I don't think it's hard.

When you get rid of one and another one comes, that person gets the same routine. This community doesn't need to be like the other ones.

I understand what you are saying, but you have to think... We aren't the sweet youngins we were years ago waiting to log into VMK in the morning.
To say this one shouldn't be like every other community is more of wishful thinking.
Bullying isn't going anywhere even if the mods hunt each and every single player who is rude down and bans their account. Another bully will just make their way back in.
Being nice or being rude is up to the person themselves and whatever they choose is whatever they choose.
Most of the rude people stick to their own "cliques" so you can easily know when to avoid/ignore them.
Bullying is part of life. Went through it myself in school... cyberally and in person. It's something that's been around for yearrrrrssssss. It's Not going anywhere. It's more like a never ending cycle. Not enough punishment in the world could get rid of it.

Maybe someday though.
It's kind of disappointing to see members quit because of rudeness from other people. I hope it gets better for some of you though.

 

[xCharlottex]

I do have to agree with paige. Even if the bullys get banned they can easily make new accounts or still post on the blog. And im sure they wouldnt recieve a permanent ban. The nasty people themselves arent going to change. We can try and do more about it by the mods taking zero tolerance on bullying but there are always going to be people in the game who feel the need to be rude to others.

 

[carrieydg]

JD, I totally agree with everything you said and I always have your back. Change doesn't happen unless someone MAKES it happen, and I know plenty of people who want this to change too.

 

[Littlebelle]

Just wanted to say it was nice to meet you JD. There are lots of nice players too. I agree the nicer players really need to stand up when they see something not right. Sometimes it is a simple misunderstanding that with communication can be worked out. You know if you have any issues you can come talk to me . Hugs.

 

[IncredibleJD]

I love this idea! Maybe they could do like soccer and do the yellow and red cards

Ha, that sounds like an amazing idea. I'd be down for that.

I understand what you are saying, but you have to think... We aren't the sweet youngins we were years ago waiting to log into VMK in the morning.
To say this one shouldn't be like every other community is more of wishful thinking.
Bullying isn't going anywhere even if the mods hunt each and every single player who is rude down and bans their account. Another bully will just make their way back in.
Being nice or being rude is up to the person themselves and whatever they choose is whatever they choose.
Most of the rude people stick to their own "cliques" so you can easily know when to avoid/ignore them.
Bullying is part of life. Went through it myself in school... cyberally and in person. It's something that's been around for yearrrrrssssss. It's Not going anywhere. It's more like a never ending cycle. Not enough punishment in the world could get rid of it.

Maybe someday though.
It's kind of disappointing to see members quit because of rudeness from other people. I hope it gets better for some of you though.

It's not about being a sweet youngin. It's about being a decent human being.

It's not wishful thinking. This community at the moment is way too small to be so toxic.

Bullying can be taken somewhere if you put the right effort and call it out when you see it. I don't think differently on that. Being rude IS up the person. So are the repressions that come from it.

You don't just ignore toxic behavior and it usually spreads. So for me to say "it doesn't exist" while it effects someone else isn't going to happen.

Bullying is not a part of life that can't be maintained or handled. Even if it needs to be continuously handled. This is Disney VMK. A Disney game. A small little community that does not need to be so heavy on bullying. At all.

I'm not just gonna accept it as a part of life and believe what's been going on now is okay or acceptable at all. Because it's not. And I really hope I'm given the option to change that,.

I do have to agree with paige. Even if the bullys get banned they can easily make new accounts or still post on the blog. And im sure they wouldnt recieve a permanent ban. The nasty people themselves arent going to change. We can try and do more about it by the mods taking zero tolerance on bullying but there are always going to be people in the game who feel the need to be rude to others.

Disagree.

It needs to be taken in steps. Warning. Talk it out. Temp ban. Perma ban. If we find them doing it on any other account, there's ways to find out. It needs to be worked on, not just accepted.

JD, I totally agree with everything you said and I always have your back. Change doesn't happen unless someone MAKES it happen, and I know plenty of people who want this to change too.

Mucho appreciatedo.

Just wanted to say it was nice to meet you JD. There are lots of nice players too. I agree the nicer players really need to stand up when they see something not right. Sometimes it is a simple misunderstanding that with communication can be worked out. You know if you have any issues you can come talk to me . Hugs.

Pleasure to meet you as well. And exactly, however if it continues out of the realms of miscommunication then it's time to hammer down.

 

[Rosey]

The amount of times people have to post about this saddens me. It saddens me because things have YET TO CHANGE. That's real freakin sad and I hate the fact you had to witness all of this JD. Even if we do all join in as a community to stop this, it's not enough. It's a two way street; staff and us. We can whine and cry and report the bullies and inappropriate behavior but it's also staff's duty to "clean up the mess" and get rid of them. Yes sadly as Paige says, they will make clones and get back right on but not if Amy can IP ban them or something or perm ban. If you cannot act right or respect others then please leave.
And I'm just wow at the part where you said a host was in a room with foul language. If you cannot do your job and follow protocol/the rues then you should not volunteer for the game. How come they can slip by for foul language but other people get the boot? I don't get it (unless they are a staff favorite). I will never understand people but I do wish things can change. But things can only change if some people listened to us as well.

 

[Cowboy_Pirate]

One thing to understand about bans cause I see a lot of people who don't understand how that works. When you're banned 1) your account is locked and 2) they put a tracer on your IP so if you get on from that same computer you'll be caught. And a perma ban is just blocking that IP address. Sadly there's people who can't get the picture and will use a different computer to still be able to get on a different account.

And as for the bullying, I agree with rosey it's a two lane street. If they don't do their part then it doesn't get anywhere, but at the same token we as players need to stand up for each other as well. If you see someone being mean and bullying tell them to knock it out. Don't just stand there and complain about it in forums... The quote below I've heard in several bullying classes (old job it was mandatory to take quarterly and I was there for 4 years so do the math lol) and idk who said it but it's true.
"Don't be a part of the problem, be apart of the solution."
If we can't stand together we cannot just expect others to stand for us for so much. Staff can only do so much and cover so much ground.

And although staff shouldn't just allow foul language when they see it. They should speak up too and just say "hey watch your language!" I know a lot of us say "bad words" but we don't mean to. Sometimes we don't even realize the word is bad. Honestly punishment should be HOW they used the bad word. Like if I say "he'll be back" and I just happen to forget the ' out of he'll (which I do all the time out of habit sorry lol) it's one thing but using foul language toward another play or to talk down isn't quite as acceptable.

Now for the last topic; cliques! Sadly yes they are just a part of life but that doesn't make them ok. From what I've seen most of the players are really nice and will talk to nearly anyone but they have a tight knit group of friends who they mainly hang out with. But there are some people who will only talk to you if you're in their clique. Personally it doesn't bother me bc if they're that rude I don't wanna talk to them anyways but it's frustrating. Sadly there's nothing staff can do about this though so it's just something either us players have to enforce or just ignore? They aren't technically breaking rules.

And one last topic because it's something that really bugs me personally. If you and your friends are in a trade room / auction room PLEASE be curtious and don't have this long drawn out chatty conversation... If you want to talk THAT much please either go to a personal room or skype. Many of us can hardly sell/buy because you're spamming the room chat so no one has time to read what people are buying/selling and usually none of you are buying/selling anyways. So please be curtious and either Skype, kik, IM, something other then spam the room chat PLEASE!

 

[IncredibleJD]

The amount of times people have to post about this saddens me. It saddens me because things have YET TO CHANGE. That's real freakin sad and I hate the fact you had to witness all of this JD. Even if we do all join in as a community to stop this, it's not enough. It's a two way street; staff and us. We can whine and cry and report the bullies and inappropriate behavior but it's also staff's duty to "clean up the mess" and get rid of them. Yes sadly as Paige says, they will make clones and get back right on but not if Amy can IP ban them or something or perm ban. If you cannot act right or respect others then please leave.
And I'm just wow at the part where you said a host was in a room with foul language. If you cannot do your job and follow protocol/the rues then you should not volunteer for the game. How come they can slip by for foul language but other people get the boot? I don't get it (unless they are a staff favorite). I will never understand people but I do wish things can change. But things can only change if some people listened to us as well.

That's why you just ban them again.

To be honest, I experience more and more of it. I could care less. It's the same people on, every day. Little cliques form. People lie, start things. They aren't happen until things are heated then want to act like it never happened. I'd be more accepting if this was back in the day and we were all still kids, but these are adults. It's just genuinely confusing.

One thing to understand about bans cause I see a lot of people who don't understand how that works. When you're banned 1) your account is locked and 2) they put a tracer on your IP so if you get on from that same computer you'll be caught. And a perma ban is just blocking that IP address. Sadly there's people who can't get the picture and will use a different computer to still be able to get on a different account.

And as for the bullying, I agree with rosey it's a two lane street. If they don't do their part then it doesn't get anywhere, but at the same token we as players need to stand up for each other as well. If you see someone being mean and bullying tell them to knock it out. Don't just stand there and complain about it in forums... The quote below I've heard in several bullying classes (old job it was mandatory to take quarterly and I was there for 4 years so do the math lol) and idk who said it but it's true.
"Don't be a part of the problem, be apart of the solution."
If we can't stand together we cannot just expect others to stand for us for so much. Staff can only do so much and cover so much ground.

And although staff shouldn't just allow foul language when they see it. They should speak up too and just say "hey watch your language!" I know a lot of us say "bad words" but we don't mean to. Sometimes we don't even realize the word is bad. Honestly punishment should be HOW they used the bad word. Like if I say "he'll be back" and I just happen to forget the ' out of he'll (which I do all the time out of habit sorry lol) it's one thing but using foul language toward another play or to talk down isn't quite as acceptable.

Now for the last topic; cliques! Sadly yes they are just a part of life but that doesn't make them ok. From what I've seen most of the players are really nice and will talk to nearly anyone but they have a tight knit group of friends who they mainly hang out with. But there are some people who will only talk to you if you're in their clique. Personally it doesn't bother me bc if they're that rude I don't wanna talk to them anyways but it's frustrating. Sadly there's nothing staff can do about this though so it's just something either us players have to enforce or just ignore? They aren't technically breaking rules.

And one last topic because it's something that really bugs me personally. If you and your friends are in a trade room / auction room PLEASE be curtious and don't have this long drawn out chatty conversation... If you want to talk THAT much please either go to a personal room or skype. Many of us can hardly sell/buy because you're spamming the room chat so no one has time to read what people are buying/selling and usually none of you are buying/selling anyways. So please be curtious and either Skype, kik, IM, something other then spam the room chat PLEASE!

Agreed with all of that.