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- Thread starter PixieLizzieA
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This nearly brought me to tears. I'm so sorry for what you've been through pixie. I can't imagine losing a close family member and best friend both in a matter of months. What you said was right though, she made it clear to you that she no longer respected your friendship. And if it were me, I'd brush it off my shoulders and keep moving. And as far as the drugs go, that kind of complicates a relationship, no matter how long you've been friends. You're in different places in life right now. Hopefully you and your friend will re-connect in the future, and hopefully she'll move past her "partying" days and realize what a good friendship she's had with you. After all, 20 years is a very long time to be friends with someone. But again, I'm sorry you've been through that. For now though, you should try to focus on the positive 
. You're going to be in the DCP!! That's so exciting, and a wonderful opportunity. Also, congrats on your *future* engagement!! And I wish you all the luck and happiness this year moving forward 
. You're going to be in the DCP!! That's so exciting, and a wonderful opportunity. Also, congrats on your *future* engagement!! And I wish you all the luck and happiness this year moving forward 
I just lost my grandma too so I know it hurts!
Hugs. Drugs addiction is an awful disease. I hope your friend gets the help she needs because right now her drugs are more important than anything in her life. I hope she can stop the drugs. There is always hope, then she can reach out to you when she is in a better place. I am so sorry to hear about you grandma. So tough to loose a love one. You are going through big changes right now moving so far away. It hurts to loose a life long friend. You are young so there is a chance to make more life time friends. Do not feel bad for closing the door. You needed to protect yourself too. Have a wonderful time at the DCP and hope your friend will someday be part of your life again. Hugs and hang in there.
I am now 45 years old and looking back I have had so many disappointing and low points in relationships I don't know what to say to ya. But one thing I have learned through 45 years of living is that no relationship is permanent. In all my years I have had friends come and go. The one friend who is constant is my best friend, my wife I have been with since High School. I once had 3 sets of grandparents I had fun with growing up as a kid and loved all of them. They are all gone now and only in my memory and through all of that I had just my wife because many of my relationships in the past had come and gone. I am so sorry for your Gram passing and I wish you had your friend to be a support during that time, but many on this globe rarely have a support group. I have had to deal with the deaths of my grandparents without the friends I started out with (other than my wife) and wished I had them around as well. My Mom and Dad particularly since they got divorced just as I turned 3 were rarely there for me. I had to really just improvise, adapt and overcome from an early age. Anyhow, my point is as you get older the relationships will not stay the same, some will but most won't. I have friends in my life, but those I have just got to know in the last 10 years or so. I don't know what the future holds, but I hope these friends are around for some time. My best advice in my years is if the relationship is meant to go on, it will. Let people have their freedom, if they wish to be away from you then let them be. The complicated thing about being a friend is letting them do what they want even if you do not agree with what they do. When that friend is in dire straits and returns to you then support them. Believe me, when this friend of yours hits rock bottom she will need you. I had a few who were drug users and I did not endorse or participate, but I was there when they hit rock bottom. Make sure she knows you are there if she needs ya. I have known enough drug users to know that yes, they can be destructive but when they need support, and they know it they will come to you for support eventually. Just hang in there, you are young and got the entire future ahead of you.
From a very similar situation, I can tell ya it takes time but it gets easier and eventually you'll come to realize how much better life is without the worry. You can still care for someone without being directly involve in their life anymore, and sometimes it is better to do it from afar for both of you. I'm graduating college this May. There was a group of 4 of us from elementary school on. We had almost 16 years of friendship under our belt together. My longest best friend (she was supposed to be my maid of honor and me hers) started secretly dating my ex behind my back (we'd only be broken up a couple months and he was also my date to prom). All of the other friends knew and kept it from me as well. Right around the time it came out, my dad got in a serious four wheeler accident he was lucky to walk away from. I got a generic text that day from both her and my ex saying they were sorry, they were carbon copies of each other. It was then I realized I didn't need this. It was the summer right before I was leaving to go to college in another state, which none of my friends were supportive of because and I quote "I was throwing them away to go to college somewhere farther than the 30 minutes", something they did. I went off to school knowing no one and now not having my friends to even be in contact with anymore because the rest of the friend group shunned me when I told them I didn't want to hang with the other girl anymore and that I was frustrated with them for keeping something like that from me. A couple months into school, my parents separated and started the divorce process after almost 20 years. I once again got another text from this girl saying she was there if I needed her. I scoffed and realized just how much she hadn't been in those 16 years. I politely told her I had no interest in her support because I now had a great support system in my new friends at school. Flash forward again to the following April, and my grandpa passes away suddenly. I did not give anyone specifics on when the funeral or anything was as 1. I figured if they wanted to know they could ask or find out and 2. I had no need for their support on that day. The day of my grandpas funeral they all show up and when I mean all, I mean she showed up as well unannounced and like she still had ties to my family. I was not the only one upset with her after this mind you, my entire family and has put up a wall from her. It was when I saw her again after all that time I realized just how much less stressful and calmer my life was not worrying about her anymore. I still don't have contact with them and I've gained much better friends here at school out of state. Now, I know this is no where near losing someone over something like drug addiction, but the similarities are there. Personally, I think the fact you're moving away is a good first step and helpful step to getting over this situation and making your life better. Sometimes you have to make the decision that is best for you. It's also not like you didn't give her any chances or anything as well. She may try to walk back into your life at some point and truthfully you need to have an idea on how you want to handle that if it were to ever happen. Overall, I think you have an idea what direction you need to go and what's best for you. And in the beginning of your post you said you didn't know why you posted, I think you just needed to get it out there and put it all in perspective for yourself. Sorry for the long post 
Feel free to get ahold of me whenever
Feel free to get ahold of me whenever
@Celeste thank you for your kind words ❤️ I'm trying to brush it off, and I mean I'm kind of starting fresh by moving across the country, it just sucks not having her there anymore. But it's better for my mental health. It just got to me last night and I haven't talked to anyone about it a whole lot so I just needed to vent and get some outside minds who may have words of wisdom. Thank you so much again. ❤️
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@Cowboy_Pirate Thank you ❤️ We already talked in PM but I wanted to say thank you again. And they do change people, and it's sad. I was fine when it was the green stuff (bc I don't think I can say it lol) but it turned into heavier, more dangerous drugs.
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@Littlebelle "right now drugs are more important than anything in her life" is very true and it's sad, but I can't make someone change. She's gotta do that on her own. I'm hoping this move is one big clean slate for me. Thank you so much for your kind words ❤️
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@MoitaRose I'm so sorry for that craziness. Those friends sounded very selfish. I'm definitely realizing how much less stressful my life is without this girl as well. I definitely know that moving will be a clean slate and I can hopefully just learn more about myself and the type of people I want to surround myself with. Thank you so much for your kind words, and you're right I just needed to get it out. I haven't spoken about it much and last night it all caught up with me. Thank you again ❤️
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