Relationship Mistake
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So new unfolding events..
My gal's sister (who is a party life pushing 60 lush) had a kid who passed away over the weekend in a bathroom. He was my age. He lived with his dad, his dad had to have cops have his squatter friends removed from his home over recent days.
Both my gal and her son are acting distraught, but whatever ya know? I've never seen them once talk to this person, and I'm the type who can find the joy in death as well. Call me crazy, but I feel a sense of relief and ease for someone who has passed, but whatever whatever.. back to topic..
My woman is hinting that about 3 different families will be passing through, with nowhere to stay. They'll probably need to stay with us. One of them has plenty of cash and is coming from Europe. I told her well if we need to be a motel, I'll just stay somewhere else during guests' stay. She acted confused why I'd be like that, but to put it short, my family is less than stellar. Users and abusers type. I'm not comfortable with being used when I've been used already (in life and by parts of her family), and I don't ask anyone for a thing.
My gal's sister (who is a party life pushing 60 lush) had a kid who passed away over the weekend in a bathroom. He was my age. He lived with his dad, his dad had to have cops have his squatter friends removed from his home over recent days.
Both my gal and her son are acting distraught, but whatever ya know? I've never seen them once talk to this person, and I'm the type who can find the joy in death as well. Call me crazy, but I feel a sense of relief and ease for someone who has passed, but whatever whatever.. back to topic..
My woman is hinting that about 3 different families will be passing through, with nowhere to stay. They'll probably need to stay with us. One of them has plenty of cash and is coming from Europe. I told her well if we need to be a motel, I'll just stay somewhere else during guests' stay. She acted confused why I'd be like that, but to put it short, my family is less than stellar. Users and abusers type. I'm not comfortable with being used when I've been used already (in life and by parts of her family), and I don't ask anyone for a thing.
A classic case of what I call "Perpetually Parasitic Offspring". Sounds like a complex medical diagnosis, and very well should be.
My next door neighbor fits this mold perfectly, except for the fact that he is over 50 years old. I've lived in the same house my entire life, surrounded by all of the same neighbors. I'm quite independent, though I do still live with my parents. I have a job and a car, and I've offered to pay rent or move out countless times, but my parents are completely okay with me living with them as long as I'm not a deadbeat. Mind you, I am only 20. My next door neighbor has lived with his mother for his entire life, leeching off the social security income that barely puts food on the table and pays the bills for her. She is my godmother, and I have always seen her as a third grandmother. She is the sweetest lady, and is well into her 80s now. We've always included her in our holiday festivities, and she has done the same for us.
Her son is probably one of the most annoying human beings to walk this planet. He hasn't had a job or a driver's license in over 15 years, and though he did move out a few years ago for a very short time, (2 months to be exact) he doesn't do anything at all to help out his mom. Never has and never will. His daily "outing" is barging into my dad's workshop behind our house to tell him the same 4 stories he's told for god knows how long, until my dad has no choice but to send him back to his mom's house because he simply can not deal with him for one more second. This man has no mental illnesses, and is more than capable of holding down a job or two in order to get by. He simply chooses not to, like he has for his entire life.
I honestly feel bad for both you and your girlfriend. Something needs to be done, before this "tumor" of hers becomes a lifelong ailment like the one my sweet godmother has to deal with on a daily basis.
My next door neighbor fits this mold perfectly, except for the fact that he is over 50 years old. I've lived in the same house my entire life, surrounded by all of the same neighbors. I'm quite independent, though I do still live with my parents. I have a job and a car, and I've offered to pay rent or move out countless times, but my parents are completely okay with me living with them as long as I'm not a deadbeat. Mind you, I am only 20. My next door neighbor has lived with his mother for his entire life, leeching off the social security income that barely puts food on the table and pays the bills for her. She is my godmother, and I have always seen her as a third grandmother. She is the sweetest lady, and is well into her 80s now. We've always included her in our holiday festivities, and she has done the same for us.
Her son is probably one of the most annoying human beings to walk this planet. He hasn't had a job or a driver's license in over 15 years, and though he did move out a few years ago for a very short time, (2 months to be exact) he doesn't do anything at all to help out his mom. Never has and never will. His daily "outing" is barging into my dad's workshop behind our house to tell him the same 4 stories he's told for god knows how long, until my dad has no choice but to send him back to his mom's house because he simply can not deal with him for one more second. This man has no mental illnesses, and is more than capable of holding down a job or two in order to get by. He simply chooses not to, like he has for his entire life.
I honestly feel bad for both you and your girlfriend. Something needs to be done, before this "tumor" of hers becomes a lifelong ailment like the one my sweet godmother has to deal with on a daily basis.
Well this may or may not be right on base but I have some experience with being unappreciated even when I give someone the world so here's my 2 cents... it seems to me that your gal pal needs to cut those apron strings and let big birdie fly on his own. He's too accustomed to her help and almost depends on it, and she enables this behavior by giving in and allowing him to take advantage of her helping heart. He's 27, it's time to sink or swim - really it was time to do or die 7 yrs ago but who's being nit-picky? 
. He needs to stabilize himself financially, he needs to start attending an ACTUAL public laundromat - you know those lovely ones where 50 billion other people have washed their undies in too and you have to operate it with quarters - and not use your house as a means of free laundry service. Washer's use a lot of power, and a lot of water. Water (unless you have well water like me) costs money, and power does too. If he's going to be using your laundry room for his own devices, is he going to be giving you a portion of the water/electric bill? Probably not, he doesn't seem like the type.
Welp, I wish you luck in your new home Ranch, and I hope your lady friend can come to the realization that she isn't helping her son, she's enabling him to be lazy and ultimately a burden on you and your relationship.
. He needs to stabilize himself financially, he needs to start attending an ACTUAL public laundromat - you know those lovely ones where 50 billion other people have washed their undies in too and you have to operate it with quarters - and not use your house as a means of free laundry service. Washer's use a lot of power, and a lot of water. Water (unless you have well water like me) costs money, and power does too. If he's going to be using your laundry room for his own devices, is he going to be giving you a portion of the water/electric bill? Probably not, he doesn't seem like the type.Welp, I wish you luck in your new home Ranch, and I hope your lady friend can come to the realization that she isn't helping her son, she's enabling him to be lazy and ultimately a burden on you and your relationship.
Its like this in the long run she will chose him over you.. Its the truth, they have a long history of him being a screw up and her rushing in to help him, take more then your disapproval to change that, will take therapy for both of them to make it happen. In the mean time, lay down the rules and hope someone follows them. Good Luck
This is so sad to me. Why would you want to be older than 21 and still leeching off of your parents? I'm 20 and live on my own but still receive financial support from my parents because they enjoy helping me, not because I ask them to. I'm going into teaching and everyone knows that paying off student loans while teaching is nearly impossible, so my dad suggested that I move back home after graduation so I won't have to worry about paying rent while paying off my student debts. I'm leery to that simply because I don't want to be that girl who still lives at home at 22 years old.
Just got back from my gal's sister's son's funeral service. They had it lined up for me to sing a song, but the sister of the deceased felt the service was a perfect time to show random ushers that she will take as long as she wants with putting on a show at the podium. She dribbled snot bubbles up there for 70+ minutes, was completely incoherent, and nobody could talk after without her up there making all sorts of noises to keep the attention on her.
I was delighted to not sing with all that selfishness!
Once the show was over, she was then all smiles at the door outside, expecting a hug and whaa's from everybody.. I split up out of there!
I was delighted to not sing with all that selfishness!
Once the show was over, she was then all smiles at the door outside, expecting a hug and whaa's from everybody.. I split up out of there!
I have no clue on Earth why I hooked up with someone who likes the house being 60 degrees. I HATE the cold. I pay half of everything, just so I can sit on my back porch now where it's not freezing. Eh.. at least she works ungodly hours to where I can set the climate to no shiver setting. I'm highly considering placing one of those lockouts on the thermostat, because she's yet to understand the "little" crank she gave it, dropped the temperature 12 degrees.
At least my butt is covered when she breaks the ac from overexertion, I won't spend a dime to fix it!
At least my butt is covered when she breaks the ac from overexertion, I won't spend a dime to fix it!
