Bullying going on

[cyre]

At the end of the day it comes down to a few things- respect for yourself and respect for others... i see too many today that lack empathy - sadly due to upbringing. Every single person here is human, and have feelings. Yeah, "it's just a game", and "don't take things so seriously!", but feelings are feelings and feelings can be hurt.

On the flip side, there are people that are oversensitive due to not knowing how to deal with negative social reactions. This is a problem too, and these are ones that often end up allowing them to be bullied, or end up hurting themselves for this same lack of knowledge.

Just treat others how you want to be treated. There's a person on the other side of that screen.

 

[Jason]

Does the ignore button even work? Half of the time i've tried to use it (even things that weren't directed at me, but I shouldn't read what people say about others in such an awful way), it doesn't work.

I tried it twice tonight. Once in my own room after someone entered and agreed to help me test it. Once in Captain's Quarters where it previously hasn't worked for me on someone who was already there. Both times it worked! It used to only work about half the time..last week it wasn't working at all. But it appears it may've been fixed. I'll try it again later though when there're more people online.


Also, I agree with people here saying "Use the ignore button"! Don't let people bully you, fight back sensibly! Without resorting to fighting fire with fire on a bully's level.

 

[Zeppelin]

I think to say that "it's your fault you're being bullied" is extremely insensitive.

 

[chloeandre]

Bullying is never okay. It has the same effect online and offline.

And hitting the "ignore" button doesn't change what someone said to/about you. It doesn't erase what happened. The fact that you had to resort to ignoring someone says enough about what they did to you. Even one word can really hurt someone. You should definitely use the ignore button if you feel bullied by someone, but don't use it as a dismissal of someone else's feelings.

Please, just be respectful. It's not hard.

 

[Cinderella]

its very, very sad to me to read this post. if someone bullies on the game they should be dealt with. the victim SHOULD NOT be blamed as some have done here.

if you see a jumper on the ledge of a building, are you going to tell him to jump? if your father or mother smoked and got lung cancer, are you going to tell them its their fault that they got cancer? would you tell a rape victim that its their fault for looking beautiful?

ignorant

adjective\ig-n(-)rnt\: lacking knowledge or information
: resulting from or showing a lack of knowledge



i cannot say in what context the word ignorant was used. but it does mean lack of knowledge. What is apparent in this post is that some of you do lack knowledge in depression/anxiety.

we are called INDIVIDUALS for a reason. no 2 people are exactly the same, not even identical twins. depression and anxiety affects every individual in several different ways in so many levels/degrees of it. no matter how much a person researches (or thinks they "know" about) depression/anxiety they will never truly "know". Even if you physically suffer from it... you cannot know what, how and to what extent of what another feels or how they can cope with things.

if a person is receiving treatment for their depression/anxiety, know that not all medications work for every individual either. even if a medication is going to work for an individual there is a waiting period of up to 6 weeks to see the full effect. it can take more than a year to find the right medication and when you do it doesn't last forever. eventually you have to increase the dose or start the entire process all over again. during these "wait times" the person can be fragile.

so if you are so very, very fortunate not to be living with this disease (and yes it is a disease caused by a chemical imbalance) count your blessings and try to be more understanding and tolerant. if you are going to say something, use kind words, or please don't say anything at all.

no one chooses depression...

 

[kalyee]

its very, very sad to me to read this post. if someone bullies on the game they should be dealt with. the victim SHOULD NOT be blamed as some have done here.

if you see a jumper on the ledge of a building, are you going to tell him to jump? if your father or mother smoked and got lung cancer, are you going to tell them its their fault that they got cancer? would you tell a rape victim that its their fault for looking beautiful?

ignorant

adjective\ig-n(-)rnt\: lacking knowledge or information
: resulting from or showing a lack of knowledge



i cannot say in what context the word ignorant was used. but it does mean lack of knowledge. What is apparent in this post is that some of you do lack knowledge in depression/anxiety.

we are called INDIVIDUALS for a reason. no 2 people are exactly the same, not even identical twins. depression and anxiety affects every individual in several different ways in so many levels/degrees of it. no matter how much a person researches (or thinks they "know" about) depression/anxiety they will never truly "know". Even if you physically suffer from it... you cannot know what, how and to what extent of what another feels or how they can cope with things.

if a person is receiving treatment for their depression/anxiety, know that not all medications work for every individual either. even if a medication is going to work for an individual there is a waiting period of up to 6 weeks to see the full effect. it can take more than a year to find the right medication and when you do it doesn't last forever. eventually you have to increase the dose or start the entire process all over again. during these "wait times" the person can be fragile.

so if you are so very, very fortunate not to be living with this disease (and yes it is a disease caused by a chemical imbalance) count your blessings and try to be more understanding and tolerant. if you are going to say something, use kind words, or please don't say anything at all.

no one chooses depression...

No one here is or has been arguing that depression isn't different for everyone/about mental illnesses. You kind of missed the point of what has been said.
The majority are either stating that they have been bullied and the bullying is too much, or are offering simple suggestions to make ones stay easier until the bullying is eliminated - example, hitting the ignore button or logging off, etc.
No one is arguing that bullying isn't harmful. Everyone agrees it needs to stop. And no one is discounting mental illness.
My intention in offering simple solutions doesn't come from my lack of understanding - believe me, I've been through the ringer - but comes from my hope that until staff implement stronger consequences, peoples playing experiences can be improved by their ability to take power in their unfortunate situations.

Sadly the buying won't be ceasing quickly, it seems, as it's a widespread problem and bans are slow to take place. My hope is in the meantime we don't lose players to this, and everyone takes little steps to quit giving bullies power and start enjoying the game regardless.


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[philitup]

Sadly the buying won't be ceasing quickly, it seems, as it's a widespread problem and bans are slow to take place. My hope is in the meantime we don't lose players to this, and everyone takes little steps to quit giving bullies power and start enjoying the game regardless.


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I really hope so as well. I've seen a few people that have left because of bullying and I wish they wouldn't let it get to them as much. I know it's hard, but there are some really sweet people on here, trust me.

 

[Cinderella]

No one here is or has been arguing that depression isn't different for everyone/about mental illnesses. You kind of missed the point of what has been said.

i never said that anyone was arguing over depression. i missed no point. what has been blatantly said was it was her fault.. i didn't direct my post to you..

The majority are either stating that they have been bullied and the bullying is too much, or are offering simple suggestions to make ones stay easier until the bullying is eliminated - example, hitting the ignore button or logging off, etc.

i disagree, a lot of these posts were not simple suggestions, they were blaming the victim and seemed they couldn't understand what i had stated in my post.

No one is arguing that bullying isn't harmful. Everyone agrees it needs to stop. And no one is discounting mental illness.

i disagree, a lot of these posts discounted mental illness - and in doing so inferred that the bullying was no big deal, move on.. log off.. hit ignore.

My intention in offering simple solutions doesn't come from my lack of understanding - believe me, I've been through the ringer - but comes from my hope that until staff implement stronger consequences, peoples playing experiences can be improved by their ability to take power in their unfortunate situations.

it is my hope too that staff reads this and realizes that more needs to be done. there are a lot of people on here that are very fragile and i would hate to see something happen. its a reality that it could.

Sadly the buying won't be ceasing quickly, it seems, as it's a widespread problem and bans are slow to take place. My hope is in the meantime we don't lose players to this, and everyone takes little steps to quit giving bullies power and start enjoying the game regardless.

now that we can agree on.


and i reiterate, my post was not directed at you.

 

[Halcyon]

I want to remind members that if you feel something is out of hand or inappropriate, regarding others or yourself, either in game/on the forums/in the shoutbox, please report it.

We handle reports ASAP here. So use the report buttons, or PM any member of staff, in all cases.

 

[Goddess]

i disagree, a lot of these posts were not simple suggestions, they were blaming the victim and seemed they couldn't understand what i had stated in my post.



i disagree, a lot of these posts discounted mental illness - and in doing so inferred that the bullying was no big deal, move on.. log off.. hit ignore.

I agree that this seems to be the general direction this thread has taken. As I've stated before, it doesn't seem to be about raising awareness of bullying or mistreatment in this game anymore, it seems to be a blame game now.

As I've also stated before, everyone would do well to keep in mind that every single thing you say, you are held 1000 percent responsible for. Especially on the internet, because it never goes away and it is just as hurtful. Whether people aren't meaning to be offensive, aren't meaning to give unsolicited, unwarranted advice/opinion in a negative manner, or aren't meaning to blame the victim, it is all circumstantial and irrelevant. What is said, is said and can't be taken back. So as I've said before, everyone (myself included) would do well to remember that fact, and to take in to consideration the repercussions that could occur from what you are about to say to the person you're directing your response to. Think before you speak, and think hard.

Analyzing the possible outcomes of the situation beforehand, and tailoring what you say to avoid negative repercussions for you and the other party involved will alleviate the situation from escalating.

I really don't think anyone here meant for anyone to feel blamed or attacked, however that seems to be what has occurred, and I think it's best we focus on the topic at hand and not pointing fingers.

Just a friendly reminder to be courteous to one another, and if you feel you have something to say that wouldn't be favorable to the person you're speaking to, or contains even a hint of something personal that isn't needed to be said publicly, it's strongly recommended that it is spoken of privately, out of the public eye.

This thread was meant to raise awareness of the bullying happening in game in the hopes of bringing it to the right person's attention, and nothing more. And if that's not the nature of this thread, then I must haven't read any of what has been said correctly at all.

 

[SilverPoisedEye]

There's bullying going on?
And these players aren't banned? Lol That's kind of spitting in my face at this point. Bullies on MyVMK don't get banned, but I get a ban for life. Yeah.. That's really fair.

 

[tabula rasa]

How you say something is just as important as what you say.

 

[MusicLuvr]

For not standing up for me when I was harassed and thought we were friends? Appology accepted. Btw, I deleted you because of that.

 

[Inferno]

There's bullying going on?
And these players aren't banned? Lol That's kind of spitting in my face at this point. Bullies on MyVMK don't get banned, but I get a ban for life. Yeah.. That's really fair.

Prob cause your not a staff favorite.


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[allison]

I feel like the term "bullying" is used way too loosely these days. People basically use it to escalate the situation and to host a pity party for themselves.


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[Goddess]

I feel like the term "bullying" is used way too loosely these days. People basically use it to escalate the situation and to host a pity party for themselves.


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I can agree. I feel like if you have a simple disagreement with someone these days people are quick to say you're harassing or bullying them because they don't like you. I've seen it time and time again.

---------------------------

There's bullying going on?
And these players aren't banned? Lol That's kind of spitting in my face at this point. Bullies on MyVMK don't get banned, but I get a ban for life. Yeah.. That's really fair.

What did you do to get banned for life?

 

[Dempsey]

sadly, some people still have not grown up since vmk closed