Post a Picture of Yourself. Again
- Thread starter thisischris
- Start date
Anyone have a beard like me? NO.
That's something you should all cry about.
That's something you should all cry about.
i go by the names of Beardy mcBeardson, the white Samuel L Jackson, and Eagle-fur Johnson
every morning i brush my teeth with a switchblade,
i built 30 decks in the space of 24 hours,
my bones are made of titanium,
and i once fought a shark with my bare hands
come back when you've got something to brag about, boyo
u call that a beard?
i go by the names of Beardy mcBeardson, the white Samuel L Jackson, and Eagle-fur Johnson
every morning i brush my teeth with a switchblade,
i built 30 decks in the space of 24 hours,
my bones are made of titanium,
and i once fought a shark with my bare hands
come back when you've got something to brag about, boyo
i go by the names of Beardy mcBeardson, the white Samuel L Jackson, and Eagle-fur Johnson
every morning i brush my teeth with a switchblade,
i built 30 decks in the space of 24 hours,
my bones are made of titanium,
and i once fought a shark with my bare hands
come back when you've got something to brag about, boyo
I am a model for the toughguy magazine.
I have won awards and medals for existing.
Jesus died and resurrected. I died and resurrected 10 times.
I have 1 million girl friends.
I have 7k page views on forums.
I didn't wrestle a bear once. I wrestled 20 bears with one hand tied behind my back. How you say? My beard softened their blows.
The world does not welcome me into their homes. I welcome them into MINE.
I once saved a sinking ship by dragging it by the anchor as I effortlessly swam to shore with the wind against me, in the Atlantic during a hurricane.
Come back when you've got something to brag about, chump.
I would have a black belt in fighting, but belts are for PANSIES and they couldn't test my strength as noone would dare to fight me!!
Toughguy magazine? Pfft yeah, maybe the loser of the year edition.
I built a time machine just so I could beat Jimi Hendrix at Guitar Hero. He sobbed for 36 hours.
They tried to give me medals as I exited the womb, but I lifted my small, infantile fists and BROKE THEIR JAW and told them I would never be part of the machine!
I've only been resurrected once. I died from drinking 90 litres of gasoline, and when I descended into hell, I stared satan straight in the eyes and he got a restraining order against me. I'm now immortal and everything's a miracle.
Girlfriends? I'm so manly every woman I look at turns into a man, and its not homoerotic at all.
Someone once asked me why, with all my money, I don't live in a mansion. I bit his hand off and explained that I live in the woods to be with my people. AKA WILD ANIMALS
I'm not welcome in anyone's home, nor are they welcome in mine. My doormat may say 'welcome' but my glare says 'don't even try me'
My car is actually a tank made of denim
I can sink ships with my MIND. I once sank a ship so hard it sank through the ocean floor like in a glitchy videogame where things fall through the terrain - and that's how the 'myth' of the bermuda triangle was born.
Toughguy magazine? Pfft yeah, maybe the loser of the year edition.
I built a time machine just so I could beat Jimi Hendrix at Guitar Hero. He sobbed for 36 hours.
They tried to give me medals as I exited the womb, but I lifted my small, infantile fists and BROKE THEIR JAW and told them I would never be part of the machine!
I've only been resurrected once. I died from drinking 90 litres of gasoline, and when I descended into hell, I stared satan straight in the eyes and he got a restraining order against me. I'm now immortal and everything's a miracle.
Girlfriends? I'm so manly every woman I look at turns into a man, and its not homoerotic at all.
Someone once asked me why, with all my money, I don't live in a mansion. I bit his hand off and explained that I live in the woods to be with my people. AKA WILD ANIMALS
I'm not welcome in anyone's home, nor are they welcome in mine. My doormat may say 'welcome' but my glare says 'don't even try me'
My car is actually a tank made of denim
I can sink ships with my MIND. I once sank a ship so hard it sank through the ocean floor like in a glitchy videogame where things fall through the terrain - and that's how the 'myth' of the bermuda triangle was born.
