Long Distance Relationship

[Dempsey]

Is anyone here in a LDR?
I have been in a LDR with my girlfriend for a year and almost 4 months. We met online, actually.
Some days are easier than others. I have been really missing her lately. I haven't seen her in 9 months and it's really wearing me down. I miss her like crazy and would give anything to be able to simply hold her hand or hug her.

That being said, I think long distance relationships have a great amount of trust and are some of the strongest relationships. They are definitely hard, but worth it in the end.
You just have to stay positive!
Which is really hard to do sometimes... wah I miss her :-(

 

[Dhalion]

I personally have tried long distance relationships 4 times. All those times, it never worked. Kudos to you for being able to solidify a long distance relationship I hope you guys spend the rest of your lives together because I agree... LDR's are one of the strongest types.

Why don't you hop on a plane and surprise her? Do I smell a spontaneous adventure?

 

[Dempsey]

I personally have tried long distance relationships 4 times. All those times, it never worked. Kudos to you for being able to solidify a long distance relationship I hope you guys spend the rest of your lives together because I agree... LDR's are one of the strongest types.

Why don't you hop on a plane and surprise her? Do I smell a spontaneous adventure?

one, i am a broke college student and i don't have the money for a train ticket
two, our schedules are pretty conflicting. so even if i DID surprise her i wouldn't know for sure if we would get to spend much time together.

how long did your LDR's last?

 

[SillyMcDoodlebop]

My boyfriend and I were sorta in a LDR for one semester while he was off at college, then things happened that after that semester he moved back home and well I see him every day again so.. theres that..
I'm getting pretty worried though because he just enlisted in the Navy and he's gonna be gone for a while and I definitely can't afford to move to whatever base he's gonna be at for schooling for the next 2 years (after basic) at this time so.. that'll be 2 years apart..

 

[Jasmine]

I have been before...sort of.

I do currently like a guy that I met online, though, so I guess if things work out, I'd be in one. You can talk to me about how you feel anytime. I totally agree that LDRs are one of the strongest relationships and they're definitely worth it - if you want it to be.

Most people agree that one of the biggest parts of being in a LDR is the end date - when you'll be together (or live together) in person. Have you two talked about that? I know of a bunch of websites and even a forum for people in LDRs, so let me know if you're interested in any links. ^_^

Do you two have weekly or bi-weekly date nights? (Like can you skype each other? Can you get her to play MyVMK so you can have virtual dates? :P) Those are usually pretty important and they can make you feel less lonely. Plus, you get to look forward to seeing them once a week! I can give you some links for LDR date night tips as well.

 

[Disney]

Yeah they can be a definite test.

When I was at basic I noticed how easy it is for people to just give up. Guys were gone for only 3 months. Saw one guy and his fiance break up/call off a wedding because she couldn't handle it. Pretty much everyone and their girlfriend ended up breaking up, except for the two married guys and like one other guy and his girl.

Really does suck, but hey, it is what it is lol.

 

[Kanye]

i was in an LDR for 2 years and im in another now. not sure why but this time around its much harder than my other one.

in both of my ldr's we skype everyday (this one much less than my other). even if we talk for only an hour, we make it a point to fall asleep together on skype every night.

i would def recommend skyping a good amount of time through the week. it makes it so much easier. we also have date nights where we watch movies together or weve both ordered chinese food (so its like were on a legit date).

distance is hard but it gets easier. just stay positive and maybe try planning a date to see each other. even if its 3 months away, a count down makes things so much easier.

 

[Ms_Special]

I was in a LDR in high school (it went into college as well) for 2.5 years. He lived two hours away so it definitely wasn't as far as you two are now. It was nice. I enjoyed every minute of having my own time during the week and getting to see him on the weekends. Our relationship actually hit rock bottom when we finally got to see each other every day. It became suffocating it and I ended it three months into our freshman year of college. It was hard letting go of something that had been a part of my life for so long, but I realized that the only way I could stand him was if I only saw him once a week. LDRs end for so many different reasons so don't take mine as the standard.

My current relationship, it kills me to be away from him for more than about four days. We basically live together so being apart now is much more difficult for me than it was in my past relationship. Starting out in LDR, it's so much much easier (imo) to handle the distance. I'm not saying that the distance is easy, because I know it's not no matter what type of relationship you're in. You have to remind each other that you care for the other every single day. In all relationships, the biggest problem I see is people stop putting in the effort. Relationships have to be worked at every day. Just like you have to eat three meals a day, your relationship needs to be "fed" as well. People think they're the exception, that you get to stop trying at a certain point, well those people get divorces.

My best advice is to never stop telling her you care for her. Tell her everyday how much she means to you. It's golden. Also, definitely plan a date soon. My best friend is in a serious LDR and they make a point to fly out to see each other every couple of months. She would ask for plane tickets for her birthday and christmas from her parents because she knew thats what she needed most.

Sorry I think I got on a rant/ramble fit there... hope any of this crazy jumble helps.

 

[Dempsey]

I have been before...sort of.

I do currently like a guy that I met online, though, so I guess if things work out, I'd be in one. You can talk to me about how you feel anytime. I totally agree that LDRs are one of the strongest relationships and they're definitely worth it - if you want it to be.

Most people agree that one of the biggest parts of being in a LDR is the end date - when you'll be together (or live together) in person. Have you two talked about that? I know of a bunch of websites and even a forum for people in LDRs, so let me know if you're interested in any links. ^_^

Do you two have weekly or bi-weekly date nights? (Like can you skype each other? Can you get her to play MyVMK so you can have virtual dates? :P) Those are usually pretty important and they can make you feel less lonely. Plus, you get to look forward to seeing them once a week! I can give you some links for LDR date night tips as well.

i'm trying to get her to join vmk! but she doesn't like "chat" sites, i'm trying to convince her this is different though. :P

the links to the forums/websites would be very helpful! i can check them out and have her look at them, too. :-) thank you so much. <3

i was in an LDR for 2 years and im in another now. not sure why but this time around its much harder than my other one.

in both of my ldr's we skype everyday (this one much less than my other). even if we talk for only an hour, we make it a point to fall asleep together on skype every night.

i would def recommend skyping a good amount of time through the week. it makes it so much easier. we also have date nights where we watch movies together or weve both ordered chinese food (so its like were on a legit date).

distance is hard but it gets easier. just stay positive and maybe try planning a date to see each other. even if its 3 months away, a count down makes things so much easier.

we rarely skype, mostly because i hate skyping hahah. but moreso than that, we have conflicting schedules and are both very busy. we keep telling each other that we will jabe skype dates but we never do. :P

and i completely agree. the past few times we have met in person, it really really helped to have a countdown. it gave me something concrete to look forward to, and i loved being able to check off the days until we see each other instead of just wondering and hoping when the next time will be.

we're trying to organize a visit in may but it isn't looking too good-- she is going through a family situation right now

I was in a LDR in high school (it went into college as well) for 2.5 years. He lived two hours away so it definitely wasn't as far as you two are now. It was nice. I enjoyed every minute of having my own time during the week and getting to see him on the weekends. Our relationship actually hit rock bottom when we finally got to see each other every day. It became suffocating it and I ended it three months into our freshman year of college. It was hard letting go of something that had been a part of my life for so long, but I realized that the only way I could stand him was if I only saw him once a week. LDRs end for so many different reasons so don't take mine as the standard.

My current relationship, it kills me to be away from him for more than about four days. We basically live together so being apart now is much more difficult for me than it was in my past relationship. Starting out in LDR, it's so much much easier (imo) to handle the distance. I'm not saying that the distance is easy, because I know it's not no matter what type of relationship you're in. You have to remind each other that you care for the other every single day. In all relationships, the biggest problem I see is people stop putting in the effort. Relationships have to be worked at every day. Just like you have to eat three meals a day, your relationship needs to be "fed" as well. People think they're the exception, that you get to stop trying at a certain point, well those people get divorces.

My best advice is to never stop telling her you care for her. Tell her everyday how much she means to you. It's golden. Also, definitely plan a date soon. My best friend is in a serious LDR and they make a point to fly out to see each other every couple of months. She would ask for plane tickets for her birthday and christmas from her parents because she knew thats what she needed most.

Sorry I think I got on a rant/ramble fit there... hope any of this crazy jumble helps.

wow, i have never heard of a relationship that ended because of TOO much time together! hopefully that won't be the case with my girlfriend and i. the longest i have seen her was for a week straight and i can say without a doubt that it was the best week of my life. sure, when we eventually live together we will get on each other's nerves, but hopefully it doesn't become suffocating. :0 it will be at least three years before we can even consider living together, anyway.

thank you for the advice, though. <3 as soon as i read this i texted her telling her i cared about her. :3

thank you everyone for the positive comments and for sharing your stories! <3 it's nice to know that others have experienced this, too. it can feel pretty lonely sometimes when all of my friends get to cuddle with their significant other every night, waah.

 

[Atlantis]

Never gotten any LDR to work out... nor any regular relationships... Dang. xD

 

[Dempsey]

Never gotten any LDR to work out... nor any regular relationships... Dang. xD

DON'T STOP BELIEVING!
there is someone out there for everyone >w<

 

[Jerimiah]

I've been in one for two years now but we've known each other ad been friends for about five years. She just stayed with me for a week for her spring break and that was great but we usually don't see each other for a few months at a time. We only live about 8-10 hours away from each other but since we're in different countries it's still pretty hard to make a trip to see each other. But we're supposed to be moving in together next summer after she graduates and I'm super excite

 

[InfinityFay]

I have never been in a long distance relationship.
The longest I've been away from a partner was my freshman year of college, but I was one hour away and I would drive down to see him on the weekends. :-)

I think what you're doing is great. Holding on to your loved one regardless of distance. I'm sure it's hard when you can't hold them or see them in person. Tough it out! It will be worth it in the end. :cloud:

 

[Best_Blonde]

Me and this kid [MENTION=3818]Psycho[/MENTION].
He lives in Florida, while I'm in New York.
As lame as it may sound, we met on Xbox. Through a mutual friend named Aaron.
I met him at a pretty low point in his life, but i'd to think I turned it around.
We fell in love because of how nerdy we were, and how much we had in common. It was cray. And well.. he's kinda funny, I guess.
I went on a plane to go see him in Florida about 3 months ago for his birthday.
It was our first time meeting in person. There's was lots of giggling and smiles. (:
Us just standing next to each other was funny, cause of our height difference. He's 6'2 while I'm a tiny 5'2. Anyways, I stayed at his house for a week and a half. And since I left, we fall asleep together on Skype basically every night. Long distance relationships are tough, but are completely possible.
You are your girlfriend are adorable, [MENTION=3552]Dempsey[/MENTION] (: I can tell you guys really love each other. ♥

 

[Flurp]

No relationship ever has worked out for me. I'm done trying for relationships.

 

[Jasmine]

i'm trying to get her to join vmk! but she doesn't like "chat" sites, i'm trying to convince her this is different though. :P

the links to the forums/websites would be very helpful! i can check them out and have her look at them, too. :-) thank you so much. <3

No problem!
In case anyone else is interested:

Here's a list of things to do together.
Here's the forum.
Here's a LDR magazine (it's a great website) & here's their date guide.
This artist is in a LDR and her comics can be really accurate about feeling lonely and stuff.

Other links:
Gurl.com
This letter/poem.
This guide (I think there's like 4 parts)

 

[Dempsey]

I've been in one for two years now but we've known each other ad been friends for about five years. She just stayed with me for a week for her spring break and that was great but we usually don't see each other for a few months at a time. We only live about 8-10 hours away from each other but since we're in different countries it's still pretty hard to make a trip to see each other. But we're supposed to be moving in together next summer after she graduates and I'm super excite

that's how my girlfriend and i were! we knew each other for four years before dating. i hope you and your girlfriend have a great time moving in together!

You are your girlfriend are adorable, [MENTION=3552]Dempsey[/MENTION] (: I can tell you guys really love each other. ♥

thank you so much! <3

No problem!
In case anyone else is interested:

Here's a list of things to do together.
Here's the forum.
Here's a LDR magazine (it's a great website) & here's their date guide.
This artist is in a LDR and her comics can be really accurate about feeling lonely and stuff.

Other links:
Gurl.com
This letter/poem.
This guide (I think there's like 4 parts)

wow, thank you jasmine! this is wonderful. :-)

 

[Inferno]

Im in one....

 

[garfield_boy]

It's just a waste of time! To me, i can't find a perfect girl anywhere or if someone is interested in me, i find ways to screw it up lol. So relationships to me are a waste of time.

 

[princesskate]

im in one right now we been talking for 4 months and we just started a relationship i go away to school and hes from where i am on long island. its easy i go home and its only a 4 hour drive so he visits and i go home. when he has drill close to me which is 2 hours away i go stay with him for the weekend he is in the air force and it is tough he will be deploying for 1 year and a half in the fall and i know well get through it im a strong person.