This story does contain self-harm and suicidal triggers, so I'll putting those chapters under a spoiler. A little about me as a writer before I post this. I started writing in the fifth grade and have been writing off and on since. Writing is a way for me to express myself everyday because sometimes verbal and emotional expression is really difficult for me. That's why most of the time, I use writing and why it's so important to me. Now, for the summary of the story...
Gabrielle has always been different; maybe a little too different. No one is able to understand her for those reasons alone. All she ever wants in life is to be the lucky one for once, yet she feels there's no reason to keep living. That is until she meets Remi...
The character has a high-functioning form of autism.
Chapter 1: Welcome to My Life
Anyway, I just finished this not long ago. It takes me about a day or two to really decide how I'm going to write the chapters, but I promise to update more if people really like this.
Gabrielle has always been different; maybe a little too different. No one is able to understand her for those reasons alone. All she ever wants in life is to be the lucky one for once, yet she feels there's no reason to keep living. That is until she meets Remi...
The character has a high-functioning form of autism.
Chapter 1: Welcome to My Life
I started climbing the rocks in search for some tide pools. This had always been my favorite thing to do as a kid. I studied the different types of marine life in each one and recorded it directly into my iPad. Thankfully, I had a lifeproof case on it if it ever got wet or fell into a tide pool. There weren't many of them today since the hot sun had dried them out.
I climbed down the rocks, only to slip and fall. Both my knees got scraped in the process of trying to get off them. Not once did I shed a single tear over my bad fall. I got back up in my feet, knowing I would get in big trouble. I wasn't supposed to be climbing the rocks to see the tide pools anymore.
I snuck inside when my skinned knees were noticed right away by mom. I couldn't hide them from her, but I hoped she wouldn't tell dad. I could see the anger filling her eyes too, though I hadn't really feared it.
"Didn't I tell you not to climb the rocks?" she said out of disappointment.
"Yes, many times..." I looked away from her as she sat me into the kitchen chair.
"So, why do you keep doing it?" she tried to keep her voice calm.
"I like exploring the tide pools and the marine life." I told her while she tended to my knees.
"Gabrielle, you need to be more careful." she said after cleaning the sand out. "I don't want you doing it anymore." she sighed when she bandaged my scrapes.
"It's part of my routine, mom." I reminded her with a frown.
"I don't care. I'm tired of you getting hurt. What happens if you crack your head open?" she replied in a worried tone of voice.
"I'm not really that danger prone, am I?" I continued to frown and still looked away from her.
"You can be." she scowled angrily at me for my accident.
I headed to my room without saying a word to her. I had this gut feeling she was going to tell dad about what happened. Mom always told him everything I did and let him deal with me. I don't think mattered how I felt about it either. No one seemed to care about my feelings for anything I did. I just wasn't like everyone else, and I would never be normal.
I overheard mom telling dad about today after he got home from work. Dad was a successful lawyer who did his job well. I heard him stomping towards my room, realizing I had nowhere to hide.
"Why can't you be more like Olivia? She's already on her way to law school by now!" he said as he raised his voice. "You need to quit with this Marine Biology [stuff], young lady." he placed his arms over his hips.
"I don't want to be a lawyer, daddy." I frowned at him.
"See, this is why you were nothing but a failure. A mistake like you never should have been born into this world!" he yelled at me as I covered my ears in defense. "You'll never amount to anything by falling useless dreams." he continued while tears streamed down my cheeks.
Dad finally left my room when I pulled out a razor blade from behind my dresser. This was a place I knew nobody would look. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing new and old cuts on my left arm. I took the blade and sliced a deep horizontal line over an untouched spot. It offered temporary relief to the emotional pain I was dealing with.
I really didn't know why marine biology was a bad thing. I've always wanted to work with sea animals my whole life. I had a dream to work at Sea World someday, but I didn't think it would ever happen to me. I couldn't even handle a job at the grocery store. How could I ever handle a job at Sea World?
I was excited about starting community college tomorrow. I could finally get away from dad without the constant emotional abuse. I would be taking Marine Biology too, which made me even more excited about college. I had already gotten the lecture from dad about my interests, but I really didn't care anymore.
"You really should listen to your dad and I." mom said after I quickly hid the cuts on my arm.
I had stopped the bleeding just in time for her to not notice. I just sat there on my bedroom floor as I rocked slowly back and forth. I couldn't stand another lecture from them, especially when dad neatly shot my eardrums. I hated being yelled at by anyone, even by my parents all the time.
"Yelling only makes it worse, mom." I told her.
"If you did what you were told, we wouldn't have to yell." mom said to me, but I just sighed.
No one, not even my family, truly understood me in the slightest. I mean, mom did some but not completely. She did know I had trouble controlling myself, unlike dad. He didn't get me at all and probably never would. The hard part about having an invisible disability was how different you are from the world. I felt like just giving up on my life, yet the only thing keeping me strong were my dreams.
"I know you try, sweetie. That's what matters the most to me." she said, trying to get me to smile.
"Thanks, mom." I replied and only faked a smile.
Everyday, I forced myself to grin and bear it. This was the one way I could fool the world in thinking everything was okay. I knew it would never be okay though. No matter how hard I tried to survive in this world, it would never be okay. I would always live in the shadow of my perfect older sister and never make my parents proud.
I would never be the lucky one; not now nor ever in my life.
I climbed down the rocks, only to slip and fall. Both my knees got scraped in the process of trying to get off them. Not once did I shed a single tear over my bad fall. I got back up in my feet, knowing I would get in big trouble. I wasn't supposed to be climbing the rocks to see the tide pools anymore.
I snuck inside when my skinned knees were noticed right away by mom. I couldn't hide them from her, but I hoped she wouldn't tell dad. I could see the anger filling her eyes too, though I hadn't really feared it.
"Didn't I tell you not to climb the rocks?" she said out of disappointment.
"Yes, many times..." I looked away from her as she sat me into the kitchen chair.
"So, why do you keep doing it?" she tried to keep her voice calm.
"I like exploring the tide pools and the marine life." I told her while she tended to my knees.
"Gabrielle, you need to be more careful." she said after cleaning the sand out. "I don't want you doing it anymore." she sighed when she bandaged my scrapes.
"It's part of my routine, mom." I reminded her with a frown.
"I don't care. I'm tired of you getting hurt. What happens if you crack your head open?" she replied in a worried tone of voice.
"I'm not really that danger prone, am I?" I continued to frown and still looked away from her.
"You can be." she scowled angrily at me for my accident.
I headed to my room without saying a word to her. I had this gut feeling she was going to tell dad about what happened. Mom always told him everything I did and let him deal with me. I don't think mattered how I felt about it either. No one seemed to care about my feelings for anything I did. I just wasn't like everyone else, and I would never be normal.
I overheard mom telling dad about today after he got home from work. Dad was a successful lawyer who did his job well. I heard him stomping towards my room, realizing I had nowhere to hide.
"Why can't you be more like Olivia? She's already on her way to law school by now!" he said as he raised his voice. "You need to quit with this Marine Biology [stuff], young lady." he placed his arms over his hips.
"I don't want to be a lawyer, daddy." I frowned at him.
"See, this is why you were nothing but a failure. A mistake like you never should have been born into this world!" he yelled at me as I covered my ears in defense. "You'll never amount to anything by falling useless dreams." he continued while tears streamed down my cheeks.
Dad finally left my room when I pulled out a razor blade from behind my dresser. This was a place I knew nobody would look. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing new and old cuts on my left arm. I took the blade and sliced a deep horizontal line over an untouched spot. It offered temporary relief to the emotional pain I was dealing with.
I really didn't know why marine biology was a bad thing. I've always wanted to work with sea animals my whole life. I had a dream to work at Sea World someday, but I didn't think it would ever happen to me. I couldn't even handle a job at the grocery store. How could I ever handle a job at Sea World?
I was excited about starting community college tomorrow. I could finally get away from dad without the constant emotional abuse. I would be taking Marine Biology too, which made me even more excited about college. I had already gotten the lecture from dad about my interests, but I really didn't care anymore.
"You really should listen to your dad and I." mom said after I quickly hid the cuts on my arm.
I had stopped the bleeding just in time for her to not notice. I just sat there on my bedroom floor as I rocked slowly back and forth. I couldn't stand another lecture from them, especially when dad neatly shot my eardrums. I hated being yelled at by anyone, even by my parents all the time.
"Yelling only makes it worse, mom." I told her.
"If you did what you were told, we wouldn't have to yell." mom said to me, but I just sighed.
No one, not even my family, truly understood me in the slightest. I mean, mom did some but not completely. She did know I had trouble controlling myself, unlike dad. He didn't get me at all and probably never would. The hard part about having an invisible disability was how different you are from the world. I felt like just giving up on my life, yet the only thing keeping me strong were my dreams.
"I know you try, sweetie. That's what matters the most to me." she said, trying to get me to smile.
"Thanks, mom." I replied and only faked a smile.
Everyday, I forced myself to grin and bear it. This was the one way I could fool the world in thinking everything was okay. I knew it would never be okay though. No matter how hard I tried to survive in this world, it would never be okay. I would always live in the shadow of my perfect older sister and never make my parents proud.
I would never be the lucky one; not now nor ever in my life.
Anyway, I just finished this not long ago. It takes me about a day or two to really decide how I'm going to write the chapters, but I promise to update more if people really like this.
